We all have them, whether we know it or not. At some point they will reveal themselves to us, Usually you find out during times of stress or pressure as they’re the ones who run to the mountains. Luckily for us our health means we’re always under stress or pressure meaning we can identify false people easier. Usually that is.
You’ll see them out and they’ll panic, look away and pretend they never saw you, or sometimes the complete opposite they’ll make a huge scene like you’re the best of friends. Then there’s the ones who message ‘Bell me if you need me’ and then ignore your calls or my personal favourite ‘Haven’t seen you in forever, Let me know when you want to meet up’ then they make ten thousand excuses to never meet.
The thing is you never really know the value of a friendship until it’s tested, and when it’s tested and no value is found then there’s this awful bleak fakeness left. There’s nothing genuine, no humour, no loyalty, no compassion or concern, no effort made. Just this awkward conversation where nobody really cares about the other but they feel some kind of duty to speak to the other for some unbeknown reason.
My point is why do we then continue to flog a dead horse as my nana would say, why don’t both parties just accept it and move on, No fake smiles and hugs, No chats that are so dull it could dry paint just a small smile and walk away, or ignore the messages completely, What’s so hard about it? There’s nothing really hard about it, It’s more the slight emotional attachment which is sometimes hard to break.
“She does my head in”, “I guess I can tolerate him a bit more…”, “Oh he’s actually a good guy” or “I’m not sure why I always hang out with him, but oh well” “She means well” all come to mind.
The signs are all there. No one is dumb enough to not see it. But because you want to seem like a good person, you justify way too much for the fake friend; you always give the benefit of the doubt. You always give more than them and they always reciprocate with fakeness, You make excuses for them to others as to why they are like that when you fully know why.
They are toxic and are taking up room in your life that someone of real value, real friendship and real love could be taking up. So my pledge for 2018 is to wipe them out, not like with a sniper, but wipe them out of your life like an eraser on a white board! I’m going to stop making excuses for people who do not deserve my time let alone my niceness, These days I barely have energy to go around let alone niceness so I’m being frugal with it. Holding it back for the people who matter, the ones who do give a shit, who ask how I am and mean it and the ones who love me unconditionally.
When I see these people out and they make the same beeline for me I will say I’m busy and make my own excuses for once! When I get the same half ass messages they will be ignored, because this year I’m putting me and mine first, always!